


Nobody

by orphan_account



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: MOL Bunker, Men of Letters, Post Sacrifice, darthsarah42
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since the angels fell, the forces of Hell have gotten stronger and more bold by the day. When Dean gets injured in a fight, Sam decides to do something drastic to protect his brother and restore heaven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam found something. He had been sitting alone in the bunker for 12 hours straight just studying volume after volume, looking for something that could help them. Things had gotten pretty serious out there since Metatron kicked all the angels out of heaven. Without their natural predator around, the demons were getting more and more aggressive, possessing, maiming and killing at will. Last week Sam, Dean, and Cas were trying to handle a simple poltergeist situation in Kansas City when a whole group of Abadon’s demons showed up to take advantage of the situation. She’s had it out for the three of them since the day the Angels fell. The demons caught the guys off guard and Dean got stabbed in the chest and thigh. Cas and Sam were just barely able to drag him out and get away. Sam has watched Dean die so many times that you’d think a few severed tendons and arteries wouldn’t bother him much, but he was still shaken in spite of himself. Driving your only family member left on earth to the emergency room while they’re hemorrhaging blood all over the back seat never gets easier. Dean’s okay though, and Cas is there with him. The guy has been hovering next to Dean’s hospital bed since they put him in it 36 hours ago. Sam is relieved to know that somebody is taking care of him.

So now Sam is back in the bunker, alone, trying to find a solution to the Angels and Demons problem, and he’s finally found something. Kevin directed Sam to “Chrone’s Annals of Paradise” before he left last week to demonproof his grandparent’s house in upstate new York. Every book Sam ever read says that restoring heaven means killing the guy that fucked it up in the first place. Metatron. The question of course has been “how?” Nobody can even get into heaven near enough to take a swing at Metatron unless he’s an angel or he’s dead. Nobody can kill Metatron if they’re stuck as a spirit, and you know what happened to the angels. But Chrone’s says that it’s possible for “somebody” to become “nobody” without dying. There are references to spells in this book too. Sam decides to do a little more research before telling Dean and Cas about it, no use getting everybody’s hopes up.


	2. Chapter 2

Bone Dust of an Unknown Soldier, Quarzet Chrystal, Candles, Thistleseed, and a sigil drawn in blood. That plus a couple of words in archaic Latin will wipe Sam out of existence. It won’t undo the things he’s done, it will just change the history so that somebody else did them. It will make it so that Sam Winchester never existed. He’ll still be here, but he won’t be anybody, and that’s the point. He’ll be Nobody. And according to Chrone’s Annals of Paradise he’ll be able to waltz right into heaven in his own body and cut off Metatron’s head. He’ll be able to reunite the Angel’s with their grace, and there’ll be balance again between Angels and Demons. No more demons slaughtering entire towns in the streets for fun. Sam has decided to collect the all the pieces for the spell tonight and get this thing over with.

He’ll stop by the hospital to say his goodbyes to Dean, but he’ll have to be discreet about it. If Dean knew the plan he’d come up with some reason why HE should be the one to go instead of Sam. Sam has seen him do that sort of thing a hundred times. Sam knows that his big brother is always ready to throw himself in front of a bullet for anyone. He doesn’t think he deserves to live, but he’s wrong. There isn’t a spell out there that could make the memory of Dean disappear. He’s the strongest, kindest, best man Sam Winchester has ever known, and the world would never be the same without him in it. Plus, what would Cas do without him? He’d be lost. If Sam thought Dean would miss him, he’d feel bad about going, but the spell will make sure that nobody remembers him.


	3. Chapter 3

Cas is sleeping on the loveseat in Dean’s hospital room. 6 feet of fallen angel curled up on a 4 foot couch snoring like a horse. Dean is awake and looks up as Sam walks in. “The guy’s been out for half the day” he snorts.  
“How ya holdin up?” Sam asks, trying to sound somewhere between concerned and nonchalant. Dean narrows his eyes now, pursing his lips like he does when he thinks he smells bullshit. _Damnitt_ thinks Sam, _I am the worst liar_.  
“Fine, if you ask me.” Dean says, somewhat suspiciously. “But they’re not letting me go until tomorrow morning. Observation on the stitches I guess.” Sam sits down in the chair next to the bed. It’s tiny. And Dean looks tiny too under piles of sheets and bandages and tubes. He’s spent too much time in the hospital for somebody his age, and the next time might be the last. But that’s why Sam’s doing this, so Dean won’t have to fight every battle on his own anymore. “What’s going on Sammy,” he asks, in that stronger-than-Dad-but-nicer-than-Dad voice. Sam clears his throat. It’s a habit he developed to waste some time before telling a more convincing lie.  
“I think I found something that can help us with our Metatron situation” he tells a little bit of truth first. “I’m not sure yet though. I just came by to check on you.” Dean’s suspicion fades to what looks like exhaustion, and Sam knows he’s out of the spotlight for now.   
“Well like I said I’m fine.” Dean leans back against his pillows and closes his eyes, and suddenly Sam feels a twinge in the back of his throat, the kind you get when you’re about to cry. He bites down on the inside of his cheek and the pain brings him back to the task at hand. (That’s a little trick he learned back when Lucifer was still riding shotgun in his head.) Sam knows can’t let Dean see that this is goodbye. It would ruin everything. And really, Sam knows he’ll probably die doing this anyway, so he’ll only have to miss Dean for a couple hours and then it will all be over. _I can do this._ Sam stands up and resists the urge to grab Dean’s hand.  
“Well I’m glad you’re doing better” he say. “and I’ll tell you all about the plan in the morning.” But of course he won’t. It will all be over by morning. Cas and the other Angels will have their Grace back, the Demon’s will be running back to hell, and Dean will be checking out of the hospital as an only child.


	4. Chapter 4

The spell is finished and a thin stream of white smoke slithers upwards from the thistle seed bundle at the center of the sigil. Sam is feeling suddenly nauseas and dizzy, he can’t see, his ears are ringing, and then just as suddenly it’s over. When he opens his eyes, everything is different. 2 minutes ago this room was his bedroom, and now it’s empty. Stripped mattress, bare walls, cobwebs, just the way he’d found it months before when the Winchester’s first moved in to the bunker. It worked. It must have worked.

 _I should get a broom from the kitchen and sweep this up._ Before the thought is finished Sam is standing in the kitchen. All he had to do was think of a place and he could be there. So when he was ready, he would think of heaven, and he’d find himself there. The kitchen is messier than Sam remembers it. There are stacks of dishes in the sink and the garbage can (where did the recycling bin go?) is full of empty beer bottles.

 _I need an Angel blade,_ Sam thinks, _Dean’s room_. And suddenly he is standing in Dean’s “awesome” bedroom. There’s an angel blade hanging on the wall alongside the rest of Dean’s favorite weapons. Something about the room is different… There’s a flat screen TV hanging on the wall opposite the bed and an empty Jiffy-pop container on the nightstand. There are two pillows on the bed and two divots in the memory foam. _Movie Night?_ Sam wonders. But there’s not time for this. Sam grabs the angel blade off the wall, takes a deep breath, and thinks of _heaven_.


	5. Chapter 5

Just one blink, and Sam is in a cold, quiet space flooded with light. It’s a massive room, about the length of a football field, with ceilings 3 stories high. There are floor to ceiling windows every 20 feet, and in between them, lining the walls all the way around the room, are book shelves. The shelves go all the way up to the ceiling and they are full of tiny little vials. Grace. It’s a warehouse full of the Grace of every angel that used to live in heaven, meticulously alphabetized and shelved. It takes him a moment, but Sam quickly locates the “C” section of the library. He climbs up the sliding ladder. Carachael, Cassael, Castiel. He pockets the tiny vile of glowing bluish light and retreats down the ladder. Through the windows, Sam can see heaven. At first it looks like a sunny day in the Midwest, but when you squint it becomes a beach, turn your head to the side and it’s a farm in the country with corn fields and cows. When you’re in heaven but you’re not dead, you can see everyone’s private heavens simultaneously existing in the same spaces. The overlapping realities are dizzying to behold, and Sam has to look away after just a few seconds.

 _Metatron_ , he reminds himself, _must find Metatron_. Sam finds the door and steps out into a long, clinically white hallway. 20 minutes of searching through random doors soon reveals that the entire building is basically deserted. There are hundreds of empty offices and command centers, light panels gone dark and ergonomic chairs abandoned. “Are you lost my friend?” The voice echoes in the hallways behind him and Sam’s stomach does a flip. The angel blade is still tucked into his sleeve as Sam turns around to face Metatron.


	6. Chapter 6

“Have you wandered away from your heaven?” Metatron seems even smaller than before, standing here in the hall. His curly grey hair and checkered sweater make him look more like a scatter brained professor the vengeful deceiver Sam knew him to be. The sharp, almost rabid intelligence in his eyes are the only warning sign that he is more than he appears. “What’s your name, young man?” asks Metatron, a gentle smile on his face, “tell me who you are and I will take you back to your heaven!” That’s when Sam remembers that he is nobody. Of course Metatron doesn’t recognize him. Sam Winchester doesn't exist. The rest is easy. Sam pretends to be scared and lost, Metatron steps closer to comfort him, he slips the blade out of his sleeve and drives it deep into gut of heaven’s only angel. Shock paints Metatron’s face just before his eyes burst into beams of light, and then it’s all over. The floor of the hallway is permanently stained with the sooty black outline of Metatron’s wings. They are small, twisted, and sickly, just like the angel himself. Sam stands over the wings for a long time, waiting for something to happen, making sure nothing does.

 _Dean_.

The smell of coffee hits Sam like a wave. He is standing in a diner, and Dean is sitting at a table across the room. The bandage on his upper thigh is visible through a hole in his Jeans. Cas is sitting across from him, his hand is under the table, resting protectively on Dean's good thigh. Suddenly, Cas stops talking and turns to look directly at Sam , then leans in and whispers something to Dean. Sam doesn't realize he’s holding his breath until he makes eye contact with his brother and doesn’t see an ounce of recognition. His heart is sinking as he walks toward the table. _I chose this_. He tells himself. _It was the right thing to do. Nothing else matters_. He pulls the blue vile out of his jacket and places it on the table. Cas snatches it immediately. “How did you get this?” he demands. “Metatron is dead” says Sam, “I killed him.” Before he knows what has happened, Sam finds himself being slammed violently onto his back on the table. Coffee and dishes shatter on the floor and the waitress retreats nervously to the kitchen. Dean’ s forearm is pressed into Sam’s throat, and Sam looks up into those familiar eyes, now full of cold rage, and everything he never wanted to see again. “You listen to me,” Dean growls, “I don’t know what your buddy Metatron is playing at here, but we are not about to walk into another one of his traps. You run back and tell him we’re coming for him, and giving Cas his grace back is the biggest mistake he’s ever made.” Dean pulls Sam up by the lapels of his jacket and slams him back down into the table. It buckles under the force and Sam is left lying in shards of wood and broken china. Dean is standing over him, “If I see you again I will kill you.” He takes a step that turns into a stumble, and Cas lunges forward to keep him from falling. Dean puts his arm around Cas’s shoulder and they limp out of the restaurant together.  
\--  
When the news starts flooding with stories of random fires and lightning, and record breaking storms, Sam knows what’s really happening. He sits alone in a dark motel room, sipping from a glass of whiskey and flipping channels. Tomorrow he’ll steal a car, rob a gas station, and go find something to hunt. Probably something dangerous. Because Sam knows the only thing worse than dying with no one to bury you is living without anyone who loves you.


End file.
